Needless to say, I recently got in an accident while in my automobile. I freaked out. A lot. I do not remember it, but at the hospital they had to pump anti-anxiety medication through my blood (that freaks me out). So upon recovering (I suppose during the recovery process) I made a decision that it is time to come to terms with this, and admit it is part of who I am.
So, this is my debut. I am going public with my two biggest fears. Two things I constantly find myself worrying about.
1. I find myself constantly worrying about being in a quiet location (i.e. the library), pulling out my laptop, and playing music. This does not scare me. What does scare me is that I think my headphones are in my computer, but really I put them in the mic input, or just my ears, and not the computer at all. So in reality I am blasting my music for all of the people in the area and I am completely oblivious to it, and they all hate me. That is fear numero uno. It has not happened. Or has it? That is the thing, I may never know, and everyone could hate me for something I have no idea of. So please, if you see me in a quiet location with headphones in my ears but music blasting around, please be so kind as to inform me. I may turn a little red, but it is for the best!
2. This probably gives me even more anxiety that my previously mentioned fear. I am terrified of accidentally using the men's public restroom. I have this distinct memory of being at Wal-Mart (in my previous, younger life), sitting on the bench outside of the restrooms, waiting for my mom to check out. Some Wal-Martian (crazy person who has been under "the lights" too long) lady walks into the men's bathroom. I watch a few men walk out with quizical brows, and then a few minutes later I watch the lady walk out, look up, see the men's symbol, and say "woops, I just used the men's bathroom!" Since this day, I have maintained a huge fear of this. Every time I find myself in a situation where I must use the public restroom, the anxiety starts all over. I double check the symbols, then while using the restroom, I fret that I forgot to look at the sign, and worry that I am going to walk out of the stall, and there will be men all around. IT FREAKS ME OUT! So far, I have been safe, but everyday I get a little older and my memory does too.
There you have i t . . . my two biggest fears!
Love,
Hannah B.
